Why Does Betrayal Trauma Hurt So Badly?
A partner affected by betrayal trauma experiences a level of pain that is indescribable. The hurt is so profound and complex, partners...
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Betrayal Trauma Therapy
in Seattle & Bellevue, WA
Heal From The Trauma of Sexual Betrayal and Infidelity
Discovering that your partner had a secret sexual life is one of the most devastating experiences a person can face. When your entire world is shattered overnight, it is destabilizing and traumatic. You may be questioning your entire relationship and not know what to do next. If this has happened to you, know that you are not alone and you deserve support. At Pacific Behavioral Healthcare, we will guide you through a therapeutic process to help you learn the truth so you can make sense of what happened and receive an answer to the most pressing question of why the betrayal occurred. We will provide you with the best tools available that are empirically supported to help your betrayal trauma recovery.
What is Betrayal Trauma?
Betrayal trauma refers to the emotional distress experienced when someone close to us with whom we rely upon significantly violates our trust, often through infidelity, deception, or other intimate betrayals. You may have discovered an affair, secret online sexual behavior, or payments for sexual gratification. The nature of betrayal trauma is very personal and unique to each individual. Betrayal trauma can deeply impact one's sense of safety, security, and self-worth, as it breaks the foundation of trust upon which the relationship was built. Someone with betrayal trauma can experience symptoms similar to posttraumatic stress and will have difficulty trusting others and feeling safe in close relationships.
How do you recognize the signs of Betrayal Trauma?
After sexual betrayal, everything you believed about your relationship may now seem like a lie. You may wonder who this person is or why they would do this to you? You are probably questioning everything. Your may realize that your relationship no longer feels safe, and your partner has abused your trust. You may also feel violated and taken advantage of. Perhaps you worry that others will not understand what you are going through or offer advice to leave the relationship, making you feel even more alone. You may begin to isolate yourself because it's just easier. We understand the pain and profound sense of loss that you feel. The betrayal from your partner's infidelity can be traumatic. You are not alone and there is hope in recovery.
WHAT TO LOOK FOR
Symptoms of Betrayal Trauma
The symptoms of betrayal trauma vary across each person. It can be incredibly validating to know that the symptoms you are experiencing are a natural response to intimate betrayal. It is also helpful to think about betrayal trauma symptoms within four categories of emotional, cognitive, physical, and behavioral, symptoms. Below are some betrayal trauma symptoms that are commonly reported.
Emotional Symptoms
Difficulty Regulating Emotions
Anxiety & panic
Shame
Self-Blame
Anger & Rage
Numbness & Detachment
Grief
Cognitive
Symptoms
Obsessive & Anxious Thoughts
Difficulty Concentrating
Negative Thoughts
Hypervigilance
Intrusive Thoughts & Memories
Flashbacks
Nightmares
Physical
Symptoms
Fatigue & Exhaustion
Tension & Arousal
Irregular Sleep
Nausea
Somatic Symptoms
(body aches, headaches)
Behavioral
Symptoms
Avoidance of People & Places
Loss of Interest
Isolation & Withdrawal
Reassurance Seeking
Difficulty Working or Parenting
Sexual Aversion
How can you heal from
Betrayal Trauma?
The aftermath of betrayal trauma can be crippling and leave you feeling hopeless with no clear path forward. This is a natural response to the intense pain of betrayal, but know that there is hope in recovery and deep healing. We have helped countless women work through betrayal trauma and regain their lives. Healing from betrayal trauma can be a transformative experience. Our goal is to help you to thrive beyond betrayal, learn to connect with yourself on a deeper level, and live a beautiful life that supports your dreams, desires and happiness. Betrayal trauma therapy can be invaluable in helping individuals navigate the complex emotions and challenges associated with betrayal trauma. The recovery process for betrayal trauma involves acknowledging and processing the pain, rebuilding trust in oneself (and others), and healing your posttraumatic stress symptoms.
Betrayal Trauma Therapy & Mental Health
Symptoms of betrayal trauma often arise immediately after discovery of sexual betrayal. However, some symptoms may have a delayed onset and come about later. For example, in the initial phase of betrayal you may experience a trauma state of hyperarousal and feel anxious, overwhelmed and have difficulty regulating your emotions. Whereas delayed reactions to betrayal trauma can start months after the initial discovery and result from a trauma state of hypoarousal and include depression, grief, feelings of shame and feeling numb. Delayed reactions to betrayal trauma can be difficult for individuals to understand and can add another layer of complexity to healing. Betrayal trauma symptoms (hypervigilance, intrusive thoughts, intense waves of emotion) are a natural response to intimate betrayal, although very distressing, they can subside with trauma-specific interventions.
How can Betrayal Trauma Therapy help me?
The traumatic impact of betrayal and infidelity may leave you unsure of what to do next. To move forward, it's essential for your pain to be heard, understood, and validated. Having your questions answered and having transparency will help create emotional safety for you to heal. You may be craving information to help you understand why this happened and how you were deceived, this is a completely natural response following betrayal, and knowing the truth can be essential to one’s healing. Effective betrayal trauma therapy can help you regain emotional safety, stop the painful trauma memories, experience stability in your relationship, and reclaim your life through empowered choices.
When should I start
Betrayal Trauma Therapy?
We recommend starting betrayal trauma therapy as soon as you can after the initial discovery so you can get the support and guidance you need to start feeling better sooner.
How do I know if I need
Betrayal Trauma Therapy?
It can be very difficult to know when someone is deceiving you, especially when it is someone with whom you are close to and trust. Many partners who have been betrayed can look back after the discovery of betrayal and recall incidents in which they believe their gut instincts were trying to warn them. Maybe something didn’t add up or seemed off, but when you’d ask for clarification, you may have been told that “you were crazy.” This type of gaslighting can be nearly impossible to detect when you are the one who is experiencing it. You may also be second guessing yourself a lot. When you look back, however, it can be easier to see when someone was purposefully hiding and distorting the truth. If you feel like something is off in your relationship, listen to your gut and take the steps you need to get support. After the discovery of sexual betrayal, you may begin to feel "less than," avoid intimacy, question your intuition, and be flooded with intense feelings of anger and grief. One of the most noticeable and distressing symptoms is extreme vigilance or being overly watchful and anxious, and possibly engaging in checking behaviors to make sure you don’t get blindsided again. Although a natural response to trauma, this fear cycle can be difficult to stop on your own and will leave you feeling depleted. To ease emotional suffering, you can receive support and guidance from a betrayal trauma therapist.
Betrayal Trauma Group Therapy
Joining a Betrayal Trauma Therapy Group can be an invaluable experience after intimate betrayal. It provides connection and support with other partners who have experienced betrayal trauma. It's healing to know that you are not alone and that there are others who are working through the same therapeutic process. Our Betrayal Trauma Group can offer a safe space for you to share, process your feelings, and learn trauma informed strategies for healing alongside other partners who deeply understand. Group therapy for betrayal trauma can also be a supportive addition to individual therapy. We are not meant to heal from this type of pain alone. You deserve support from other partners who understand what you are going through. Our Betrayal Trauma Therapy Group provides effective strategies and tools to help calm your mind and body and foster deeper trauma healing. You will learn to nurture yourself again and feel empowered.
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